so, today will be my 4th day back at work.. all is going well on that front. i can sit in my office chair with my foot propped up on an upside down box (LOL... sara labeled it 'leigh's foot stool' in sharpie so nobody would throw it out) with few problems. if it does get uncomfortable, i just take a couple of tylenol and then i'm good. :)
it's really nice to be back at work, so i'm not just sitting around the house all day long bored out of my skull.. can you believe i actually got sick of tv?? never thought that one would happen.. LOL!
you know, when all of this happened the only thing i could think of was 'SHIT! there goes my summer.. there goes my life for the next 3 or so months...' but maybe this was actually a good thing. i mean, a lot of worse things could have happened to me.. you know? but, in reality, this whole experience has actually turned out to be a good thing. i've had a lot of time to not only think about but actually DO some things that i've wanted to do for over a year now.. which might turn out to be another blog, who knows? plus, my friends have been so awesome with me.. coming to visit, taking me out places, calling to check up on me, etc. of course, if the situation were reversed i'd be doing the same thing for them.. that's what friends are for, right?
oh.. but to all my MD friends, i have some bad news.. =/ so, it turns out i will not be able to come home anytime soon.. i need to concentrate on my physical therapy once i can actually walk again, lol. i'm not willing to do ANYthing that might push it. this includes work (i really don't want to reinjure myself, thank you) and, sadly, driving 9 hours to go home. so, that kind of sucks. i was REALLY looking forward to seeing ally while she was in town, but.. *sigh.. maybe i'll just have to go back to italy next year, right? ;) perhaps i can schedule a trip home later this year.. once my ankle is back to normal. plus, i would feel realllly bad about asking for time off from work for that - after having a month off, LOL!
stupid ankle.. if this hadn't happened i would have already had those days off to go home, but oh well. =/ so, there are of course bad things about this whole leigh-broke-her-ankle deal.. but, like i said, overall it has actually been good :)
next appointment: july 13th! that is 2 weeks from today! so, that means that i might be halfway through the hard cast phase, lol. depending on my x-rays at that point, of course. but, well, here's hoping!
hmm, well i must get ready for work.. but i'll try to update again soon, pending things happening.. LOL!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
holy CRAP!
so i received all of the claim info from the insurance company in the mail today..
you know, something needs to be done about the insane costs of medical treatment! what if i didn't have insurance? couldn't afford this? yes, they are legally obligated to still do it.. but still. there goes my credit! so here's the rundown of the claims..
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so far the grand total comes out to $24,149.80 .. all from the month of may! that doesn't even count my appointment last week to get the stitches taken out/hard cast put on.. or the appointment next month to get the hard cast off, etc. more xrays will be involved, etc.
this is absolutely crazy.. something needs to be done about astronomical medical costs in this country! well, in my opinion anyways..
you know, something needs to be done about the insane costs of medical treatment! what if i didn't have insurance? couldn't afford this? yes, they are legally obligated to still do it.. but still. there goes my credit! so here's the rundown of the claims..
- grand strand regional medical center (including ER and surgery) : $19,907.50 (!!!!!! WTF?)
- anesthesiologist : $500
- radiologist : $30
- pathologist : $12.30
- strand orthopedics: $3700.00
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so far the grand total comes out to $24,149.80 .. all from the month of may! that doesn't even count my appointment last week to get the stitches taken out/hard cast put on.. or the appointment next month to get the hard cast off, etc. more xrays will be involved, etc.
this is absolutely crazy.. something needs to be done about astronomical medical costs in this country! well, in my opinion anyways..
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
back to the grind..
so, on friday, i am going back to work! i had to get a work release faxed in from my doctor, which says i am ok to work until july 13th. once he sees my xrays again he will update that form... depending on how the ankle looks. :)
i'm worried about working once i can start 'walking'.. if i should push it or not....
so we shall see :)
i'm worried about working once i can start 'walking'.. if i should push it or not....
so we shall see :)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
more milestones
so, i was told i needed to update. LOL
last night i was 'allowed' to spend the night at the condo. it felt incredible to be able to sleep in my own bed! of course, my mother came to pick me up after i had woken up and took me back to the parent's house (my stuff is still over there).. but it's a step towards letting me live in my own place, lol. now, i just have to figure out how to operate the coffee maker while standing up on crutches..
today, while running errands with mom, i was able to reach another milestone - she let me drive! ah, i had missed my car.. anyways, the doctor had told me it was ok to drive when i had my hard cast on but i hadn't tried it yet. it really wasn't a problem! i was able to get myself in my car, crutches and all, drive, get out of the car, and hobble around on my crutches.
i've been avoiding using the chair, as it is more exercise to crutch (lol). really.. it is. i can feel it in my dormant muscles (ha!) as i move about. my right leg, which is what mainly holds me up, is really getting a workout.. then throw in the arms, which also hold me up.. but not as much as the leg.. and, the best part.. my abs. apparantly that's where i get the swinging motion as i move to and fro, haha. i can feel them working.. and i know that it's actually impacting me. last week i was able to balance (on one leg, lol) on the scale.. and it turns out that i have somehow dropped 10 pounds since this whole 'thing' started. not only do i attribute this to my 'workouts' but also because the parents only feed me healthy foods.. lots of fruit (which is ok, i like fruit), wheat everything, grilled chicken/salmon, salads, etc. at first i really hated it (ok, so i like junk food a bit too much..haha) but now that i'm used to it.. i kind of like it. especially with the results :)
the other afternoon (thursday) mom and i went to the movies. this was another first.. we saw 'Up' in 3-D (cute movie!) but, most importantly, i was able to sit through the entire movie and still be comfortable. awesome! that means.. more movies! LOL, i love going to see movies.. so here are the ones i want to see (and soon!)
i can't wait for this whole mess to be over, i want to walk again! at times i get a little down and pissed at myself for being this stupid to let this happen.. but oh well, can't think in the past.. you know? it did happen, and i was momentarily that stupid, so i just have to move on and deal with it.
i have to wait at least 8 weeks from the date of my surgery until i can put any weight/pressure on my left leg. hmm, my surgery was may 27th. so that makes my 'freedom date' (lol) july 27th. i am really looking forward to that day.. haha.
the doctor told me that i will have a walking boot, and can't immediately put all my weight on that leg. i will have to gradually ease my ankle back into holding me up, walking, moving, etc. so for the first week or so with the boot i'll still have to use my crutches. but at least i won't be swinging around like a little monkey, lol, i will be able to walk. just using the crutches for support.
BUT, all this depends on how my x-rays look at my next appointment.. which is scheduled for july 13th. if they look good then i can actually have the cast taken off then.. even though i can't put any weight on it until the 27th. so.. i'm not really sure what they would put on next.. maybe an aircast? i have no idea.
the insurance has finally been squared away, for now anyways. hopefully there won't be any problems with coverage, nor will my portion of the bills be too expensive. personally, i think that the point of insurance is so that will pay for all of it.. but apparantly that is just wishful thinking on my part.
so, yeah. that's pretty much all i can think about that has been going on lately, in terms of my ankle. i'm sick of this crap, and just want to move! i hate how much this has shattered (temporarily) my life, kind of. i can't just get up and go somewhere.. actually, it's kind of a pain to go ANYwhere right now. but.. i'm getting there. my ankle doesn't hurt at all anymore (*knocks on wood*) .. this cast is just slightly uncomfortable (but not too tight anymore) and a pain in the ass, lol.
so.. july 27th.. yes.... the coundtown begins :)
5 weeks!
last night i was 'allowed' to spend the night at the condo. it felt incredible to be able to sleep in my own bed! of course, my mother came to pick me up after i had woken up and took me back to the parent's house (my stuff is still over there).. but it's a step towards letting me live in my own place, lol. now, i just have to figure out how to operate the coffee maker while standing up on crutches..
today, while running errands with mom, i was able to reach another milestone - she let me drive! ah, i had missed my car.. anyways, the doctor had told me it was ok to drive when i had my hard cast on but i hadn't tried it yet. it really wasn't a problem! i was able to get myself in my car, crutches and all, drive, get out of the car, and hobble around on my crutches.
i've been avoiding using the chair, as it is more exercise to crutch (lol). really.. it is. i can feel it in my dormant muscles (ha!) as i move about. my right leg, which is what mainly holds me up, is really getting a workout.. then throw in the arms, which also hold me up.. but not as much as the leg.. and, the best part.. my abs. apparantly that's where i get the swinging motion as i move to and fro, haha. i can feel them working.. and i know that it's actually impacting me. last week i was able to balance (on one leg, lol) on the scale.. and it turns out that i have somehow dropped 10 pounds since this whole 'thing' started. not only do i attribute this to my 'workouts' but also because the parents only feed me healthy foods.. lots of fruit (which is ok, i like fruit), wheat everything, grilled chicken/salmon, salads, etc. at first i really hated it (ok, so i like junk food a bit too much..haha) but now that i'm used to it.. i kind of like it. especially with the results :)
the other afternoon (thursday) mom and i went to the movies. this was another first.. we saw 'Up' in 3-D (cute movie!) but, most importantly, i was able to sit through the entire movie and still be comfortable. awesome! that means.. more movies! LOL, i love going to see movies.. so here are the ones i want to see (and soon!)
- the hangover (going to that next week with tori and thrasher, can't wait!)
- my sister's keeper
- bruno
- harry potter and the half-blood prince
i can't wait for this whole mess to be over, i want to walk again! at times i get a little down and pissed at myself for being this stupid to let this happen.. but oh well, can't think in the past.. you know? it did happen, and i was momentarily that stupid, so i just have to move on and deal with it.
i have to wait at least 8 weeks from the date of my surgery until i can put any weight/pressure on my left leg. hmm, my surgery was may 27th. so that makes my 'freedom date' (lol) july 27th. i am really looking forward to that day.. haha.
the doctor told me that i will have a walking boot, and can't immediately put all my weight on that leg. i will have to gradually ease my ankle back into holding me up, walking, moving, etc. so for the first week or so with the boot i'll still have to use my crutches. but at least i won't be swinging around like a little monkey, lol, i will be able to walk. just using the crutches for support.
BUT, all this depends on how my x-rays look at my next appointment.. which is scheduled for july 13th. if they look good then i can actually have the cast taken off then.. even though i can't put any weight on it until the 27th. so.. i'm not really sure what they would put on next.. maybe an aircast? i have no idea.
the insurance has finally been squared away, for now anyways. hopefully there won't be any problems with coverage, nor will my portion of the bills be too expensive. personally, i think that the point of insurance is so that will pay for all of it.. but apparantly that is just wishful thinking on my part.
so, yeah. that's pretty much all i can think about that has been going on lately, in terms of my ankle. i'm sick of this crap, and just want to move! i hate how much this has shattered (temporarily) my life, kind of. i can't just get up and go somewhere.. actually, it's kind of a pain to go ANYwhere right now. but.. i'm getting there. my ankle doesn't hurt at all anymore (*knocks on wood*) .. this cast is just slightly uncomfortable (but not too tight anymore) and a pain in the ass, lol.
so.. july 27th.. yes.... the coundtown begins :)
5 weeks!
Monday, June 15, 2009
hard cast!
ok, so i got the hard cast put on my leg today.. that part didn't hurt, thank God! when the stitches were taken out it was kind of uncomfortable.. and as gross-ish as it was i still HAD to look. i was fascinated, LOL!
the doctor was really pleased with the way my ankle was looking in the x-rays, so he gave me some good news: i might only have to keep this cast on for 4 weeks, not the original 6 he had planned for!
so my next appointment is july 13th, and if the x-rays still look good then the hard cast can come off. now that the cast is on.. uh, short of re-injuring myself by falling or something how can it not be ok? *knocks on wood* .. anyways.
even if i can get my cast off in 4 weeks i can't walk for another 2 weeks after that (no weight/pressure). when i can finally start walking again it will only be a little bit at a time.. and with a walking boot. the doctor told me that the big screws (those 3 big lines in the picture) will eventually break once i am able to start moving my ankle around. this freaked me out a little bit, until he reassured me that they are supposed to do that (because it's a joint) and that i won't even feel it when it happens. also, he doesn't think he'll have to go in there and remove them.. they can just stay put. lol.. really? so i'll be annoying TSA because if i fly anywhere i'll be setting everything off.. haha! i will be getting a card to give them stating that i have metal in my ankle, and that means they just have to use the wand thing instead.
speaking of cards, after the doctor's i was able to run a few errands with dad.. including going to the dmv to get my handicapped parking tags! so now i get the good spots... rock on! the doctor said i could drive now, however i am still going to wait on that one .. don't want to push it, lol. but.. the best news i was given.. my doctor cleared my trip to maryland in august! now, work i'm not so sure of. i don't know when i'll be going back, and i would feel bad asking for that time off.. after having all THIS time off. i dunno. but, if i am able to go, i will have the boot for light walking.. but i'll mostly have to use the crutches and wheelchair, as once again.. i don't want to push it. but, as noted in my last post, i have gotten a LOT better with my mobility.
i'm hoping that i can go back home again today for a bit.. i want to play guitar hero again, LOL!
:)
the x-rays.. the white parts are the plate/8 screws (!!!!) holding everything together
my doctor told me this was a very serious injury, and one of the worst he had seen.. eech! way to go, leigh.. LOL
the stitches on the inside of my ankle, before they came out. and if you think this is gross, thank your lucky little stars that i didn't take a picture of the other side.. LOL!
my pretty, blue, new hard cast! *PLEASE* only be there for 4 weeks...
the border of the paper on the table. seriously? the bears are mocking me.. bastards.. >)
the doctor was really pleased with the way my ankle was looking in the x-rays, so he gave me some good news: i might only have to keep this cast on for 4 weeks, not the original 6 he had planned for!
so my next appointment is july 13th, and if the x-rays still look good then the hard cast can come off. now that the cast is on.. uh, short of re-injuring myself by falling or something how can it not be ok? *knocks on wood* .. anyways.
even if i can get my cast off in 4 weeks i can't walk for another 2 weeks after that (no weight/pressure). when i can finally start walking again it will only be a little bit at a time.. and with a walking boot. the doctor told me that the big screws (those 3 big lines in the picture) will eventually break once i am able to start moving my ankle around. this freaked me out a little bit, until he reassured me that they are supposed to do that (because it's a joint) and that i won't even feel it when it happens. also, he doesn't think he'll have to go in there and remove them.. they can just stay put. lol.. really? so i'll be annoying TSA because if i fly anywhere i'll be setting everything off.. haha! i will be getting a card to give them stating that i have metal in my ankle, and that means they just have to use the wand thing instead.
speaking of cards, after the doctor's i was able to run a few errands with dad.. including going to the dmv to get my handicapped parking tags! so now i get the good spots... rock on! the doctor said i could drive now, however i am still going to wait on that one .. don't want to push it, lol. but.. the best news i was given.. my doctor cleared my trip to maryland in august! now, work i'm not so sure of. i don't know when i'll be going back, and i would feel bad asking for that time off.. after having all THIS time off. i dunno. but, if i am able to go, i will have the boot for light walking.. but i'll mostly have to use the crutches and wheelchair, as once again.. i don't want to push it. but, as noted in my last post, i have gotten a LOT better with my mobility.
i'm hoping that i can go back home again today for a bit.. i want to play guitar hero again, LOL!
:)
the x-rays.. the white parts are the plate/8 screws (!!!!) holding everything together
my doctor told me this was a very serious injury, and one of the worst he had seen.. eech! way to go, leigh.. LOL
the stitches on the inside of my ankle, before they came out. and if you think this is gross, thank your lucky little stars that i didn't take a picture of the other side.. LOL!
my pretty, blue, new hard cast! *PLEASE* only be there for 4 weeks...
the border of the paper on the table. seriously? the bears are mocking me.. bastards.. >)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
location
as i type away at this quick entry, i am doing so while sitting on the chaise lounge in my OWN living room! oh i don't think i've ever been so happy to be home!
it's not permanent though.. i have until 9, when the parents will come back to collect me. but it's a start! i took some pictures with my phone that i want to post on here.. but when my phone updated it dumped the password for my home network. so.. yeah. there's no way i'm going to try to tote myself and my laptop into the guest room to grab the encryption key. just not gonna happen, LOL!
but i am happy to be home!
:)
it's not permanent though.. i have until 9, when the parents will come back to collect me. but it's a start! i took some pictures with my phone that i want to post on here.. but when my phone updated it dumped the password for my home network. so.. yeah. there's no way i'm going to try to tote myself and my laptop into the guest room to grab the encryption key. just not gonna happen, LOL!
but i am happy to be home!
:)
little milestones
i get my hard cast on tomorrow.. and i've decided to go with blue (originally i was going to get black... but then decided that will be way too hot when i'm outside). i'm looking forward to that, only because that means that it's one more step in the right direction of this crap being OVER! hmm, then 6 weeks in that hard cast (it's already been 3 weeks.. so i'm 1/3 of the way there! LOL) after which, i'm sure, i'll have a walking boot.
why, oh why, did i have to do this to myself? why couldn't i have thought 'hey, maybe i shouldn't just hop..' sometimes i get pissed at myself for letting this happen. i mean.. i know that accidents happen, but this could have been avoided. oh well... hindsight is always 20/20, you know?
but in the last few weeks i have hit a few milestones, which i'm happy about. i can now...
well, now i'm off to bug the parents about dinner and going home.. so, if i do get to go home, here are my plans:
why, oh why, did i have to do this to myself? why couldn't i have thought 'hey, maybe i shouldn't just hop..' sometimes i get pissed at myself for letting this happen. i mean.. i know that accidents happen, but this could have been avoided. oh well... hindsight is always 20/20, you know?
but in the last few weeks i have hit a few milestones, which i'm happy about. i can now...
- get up out of the recliner, get the crutches, and hobble around
- sit back into the recliner and put my leg up where it needs to be
- stand up at the sink to wash my hands
- i can get get clothes over my cast (before i couldn't move my leg up that far, so mom had to help lol)
well, now i'm off to bug the parents about dinner and going home.. so, if i do get to go home, here are my plans:
- play with lucy and lily (i know that lucy will flip out when she sees me, and probably crawl all over me LOL)
- WII!!!! mario kart + guitar hero just might be enough to cheer me up, lol! (.. guitar hero...)
- be online, since i'll probably have them bring the laptop (silently fumes about the desktop being broken...)
- put my graduation pictures (which FINALLY came in the mail.. yay!) into frames for the bookshelf (yes, i had to get ANOTHER bookshelf.. this one is in the living room.. because i ran out of room for all my books, lol!)
- and avoid my creepy upstairs neighbor (he is, in my opinion, completely creepish.. and whenever i see him he always invites me upstairs for a beer. i always politely decline tho, as i'd prefer to NOT have somebody find a trash bag floating somewhere with the pieces of my remains in it...more on that later, lol. but, i guess since he lives by himself and all that the sheer boredom of it all might aid in him being crazy...)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
no pain, no gain?
ah.. so in my last couple of posts i have realized i forgot to mention something: (with the exception of my toes being weirdly sensitive) ... there's NO more pain! no more soreness, tenderness, or burning.. and i haven't had to take a percocet since tuesday :)
the sensitive toes thing is kind of annoying (even a sheet bothers them.. so i have to keep that foot out when i sleep, lol).. if that's not gone by my appointment on monday then i'm going to check with the doctor on that one.
cast color? i'm still internally debating between black or the blue. either way, it's gonna suck. they are both dark colors - so, either way it's going to be really hot if i'm outside. but black is easier to pair up with stuff.. hmm. i dunno, i'll leave it to a snap decision when i'm there lol.
other than that.. absolutley nothing new, lol. i've watched way too much tv (can your brain explode from understimulation? i might be about to find out..), seen a bunch of new movies i've been wanting to watch (he's just not that into you, slumdog millionaire, revolutionary road, bride wars, marley & me - then i have role models and the secret life of bees to watch today/tomorrow). i've been watching 'greek' (although i did miss an episode, from memorial day, that i need to watch online..) every week. i'm going to subscribe to netflix, so i can start watching entire seasons of some of my favorite tv shows - csi: miami, criminal minds, and i really want to watch heroes.. from the beginning. i've been meaning to do so for.. oh about 2 years? lol, but no time.
also, today when mom goes to check up on the cats (i miss them!) she's bringing me back my GRE prep books. THAT will stop this whole 'understimulation' thing.. LOL!
well, i'm off to watch some more tv.. 'that 70s show' is on.. sweeeet :)
the sensitive toes thing is kind of annoying (even a sheet bothers them.. so i have to keep that foot out when i sleep, lol).. if that's not gone by my appointment on monday then i'm going to check with the doctor on that one.
cast color? i'm still internally debating between black or the blue. either way, it's gonna suck. they are both dark colors - so, either way it's going to be really hot if i'm outside. but black is easier to pair up with stuff.. hmm. i dunno, i'll leave it to a snap decision when i'm there lol.
other than that.. absolutley nothing new, lol. i've watched way too much tv (can your brain explode from understimulation? i might be about to find out..), seen a bunch of new movies i've been wanting to watch (he's just not that into you, slumdog millionaire, revolutionary road, bride wars, marley & me - then i have role models and the secret life of bees to watch today/tomorrow). i've been watching 'greek' (although i did miss an episode, from memorial day, that i need to watch online..) every week. i'm going to subscribe to netflix, so i can start watching entire seasons of some of my favorite tv shows - csi: miami, criminal minds, and i really want to watch heroes.. from the beginning. i've been meaning to do so for.. oh about 2 years? lol, but no time.
also, today when mom goes to check up on the cats (i miss them!) she's bringing me back my GRE prep books. THAT will stop this whole 'understimulation' thing.. LOL!
well, i'm off to watch some more tv.. 'that 70s show' is on.. sweeeet :)
Friday, June 12, 2009
while i'm not going anywhere..
so i was looking at some grad schools today, and tomorrow i'll have my mother bring over my GRE prep books (yes, that's plural.. eek!)
i might as well do the reviews and take the practice tests while i have pretty much nothing else to do.. do something productive, right? i need to get at least 1000 on this test, but i would like to get above a 1200. so.. we shall see! according to the ETS website, coastal is the closest testing center (which i already knew) and they have a bunch of dates available over the summer (i didn't know you could PICK your date, i thought they had scheduled dates.. like the SAT's, but ok!).
so i'll shoot for taking this evil test (geometry? really?? WTF?) by the end of july.. before my cast comes off. so i have 2 lofty goals for 'the cast period' (as i'm calling it):
one of the prep books i have is for vocab. you know what? the vocab part really pisses me off.. i've always thought that i have an extensive vocabulary, so i started flipping through the 'most commonly used terms' and came across the word "tortuous." well, i would think that would have something to do with torture, pain, etc... but nooooo.. it actually means 'winding' .. as in, 'it was a tortuous path' (brings to mind walking through the trees from the wizard of oz who throw apples, involving quicksand and poisonous snakes as well.. ). argh.
sometimes i look at all of this stuff and think that it's all over my head.. and there's no way i can do it. but then i remember that's what i once thought of finishing college, period, and not only did i do that - i did it well. graduated with a very decent GPA, and the last 3 semesters (the entire time i had come back - since jan 08) i have made the dean's list. not bad..
so i can do it, i know i can. i just have to stop my annoying habit of negative self talk, lol. and i have to relearn geometry, and add some new words into my vocab. why didn't i take latin??
i also looked up some grad programs (namely school psych) that i'm interested in. the schools 'down south' that i would be interested in going to:
so, i would become 'dr. gamble'.. eh? (or, if brian pisses me off enough.. dr. hileman? eh, but dr. gamble has an evil ring to it.. LOL)
i just have to keep thinking like the little engine who could.. 'i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...'
only, i know that i can do this.
:)
i might as well do the reviews and take the practice tests while i have pretty much nothing else to do.. do something productive, right? i need to get at least 1000 on this test, but i would like to get above a 1200. so.. we shall see! according to the ETS website, coastal is the closest testing center (which i already knew) and they have a bunch of dates available over the summer (i didn't know you could PICK your date, i thought they had scheduled dates.. like the SAT's, but ok!).
so i'll shoot for taking this evil test (geometry? really?? WTF?) by the end of july.. before my cast comes off. so i have 2 lofty goals for 'the cast period' (as i'm calling it):
- quit smoking (quit date is july 4th and 1st month of chantix has already been filled)
- take (and do well on) the GRE
one of the prep books i have is for vocab. you know what? the vocab part really pisses me off.. i've always thought that i have an extensive vocabulary, so i started flipping through the 'most commonly used terms' and came across the word "tortuous." well, i would think that would have something to do with torture, pain, etc... but nooooo.. it actually means 'winding' .. as in, 'it was a tortuous path' (brings to mind walking through the trees from the wizard of oz who throw apples, involving quicksand and poisonous snakes as well.. ). argh.
sometimes i look at all of this stuff and think that it's all over my head.. and there's no way i can do it. but then i remember that's what i once thought of finishing college, period, and not only did i do that - i did it well. graduated with a very decent GPA, and the last 3 semesters (the entire time i had come back - since jan 08) i have made the dean's list. not bad..
so i can do it, i know i can. i just have to stop my annoying habit of negative self talk, lol. and i have to relearn geometry, and add some new words into my vocab. why didn't i take latin??
i also looked up some grad programs (namely school psych) that i'm interested in. the schools 'down south' that i would be interested in going to:
- north carolina state (school psych)
- univ. of georgia (school psych OR developmental psych)
- univ. of maryland (school psych - FEAR THE TURTLE!)
- umbc (developmental psych)
- hood college (experimental psych - masters... that would REALLY be going home, right?
so, i would become 'dr. gamble'.. eh? (or, if brian pisses me off enough.. dr. hileman? eh, but dr. gamble has an evil ring to it.. LOL)
i just have to keep thinking like the little engine who could.. 'i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...'
only, i know that i can do this.
:)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
come on, monday!
ok.. so this whole cast thing? it's now just really uncomfortable and is a major P.I.A. more than anything else..
i just want to rip it off and be able to wash my leg.. scratch it.. moisturize, you know? it feels terrible trapped inside that stupid cast 24/7, day in and out.
so on monday i have my appointment to get the stitches taken out (no scars, please!!!) and to have a hard cast put on. but that brief moment between casts.. oh yeah, i'm really looking forward to it!
my skin can breathe! my leg won't be uncomfortable hotter than the rest of my body! (imagine having a blanket stuck to you.. and you're hot but can't remove it.. yeah, it sucks) i can WASH it!
granted, then a hard cast gets slapped on my leg for the next 6 weeks.. but still. then it will be all over with, i hope!
my toes have been really bothering me now.. it's as if the pain has shifted.. from my ankle, to burning, to my toes? weird. but i can't even touch the top of them lightly without it hurting. i wonder if i also broke a toe or two? there's one in particular that REALLY hurts.. the one next to my big toe. or maybe i jammed the joint or something.. i dunno. but if it hasn't stopped by monday i will definitely bring it up with the doctor!
well, the parents are almost home from tennis so i need to get going.. have to finish lunch! oh, wait, that's right.. i can't even stand up in the kitchen to cook anything. sonofabi.. well, you get the point.
i just want to rip it off and be able to wash my leg.. scratch it.. moisturize, you know? it feels terrible trapped inside that stupid cast 24/7, day in and out.
so on monday i have my appointment to get the stitches taken out (no scars, please!!!) and to have a hard cast put on. but that brief moment between casts.. oh yeah, i'm really looking forward to it!
my skin can breathe! my leg won't be uncomfortable hotter than the rest of my body! (imagine having a blanket stuck to you.. and you're hot but can't remove it.. yeah, it sucks) i can WASH it!
granted, then a hard cast gets slapped on my leg for the next 6 weeks.. but still. then it will be all over with, i hope!
my toes have been really bothering me now.. it's as if the pain has shifted.. from my ankle, to burning, to my toes? weird. but i can't even touch the top of them lightly without it hurting. i wonder if i also broke a toe or two? there's one in particular that REALLY hurts.. the one next to my big toe. or maybe i jammed the joint or something.. i dunno. but if it hasn't stopped by monday i will definitely bring it up with the doctor!
well, the parents are almost home from tennis so i need to get going.. have to finish lunch! oh, wait, that's right.. i can't even stand up in the kitchen to cook anything. sonofabi.. well, you get the point.
Monday, June 8, 2009
change in plans
mom and i used to joke around that in our next lives we would want to be an indoor cat. cats don't have to worry about making their food, etc. they can just lie around all day long, doing nothing, and having everybody else take care of them.
i've changed my mind. i do NOT want to lie around all day long.. it's so f-ing boring! oh sure, i find little projects to do each day.. the other day i did my nails, i've been reading books like crazy (i'm on my 4th book since this happened, if that tells you anything), having friends over, stuff like that. but i am still so very, very bored..
one day fades into the next, and the same old stuff.. wake up, drink coffee mom or dad makes for me. eat breakfast. go outside, come in and clean up. eat lunch. watch tv, read, and/or get online. eat dinner. watch more tv, maybe a movie, maybe have a visitor or two. chat on the phone. get online. go to sleep. wake up.. and do it all over again.
ugh.
but, on a lighter note.. my degree arrived in the mail! that makes me happy... and it's ironic that it would have come on june 6th, which is the same day i graduated from high school (although back in 2001.. LOL). maybe once i get the chair back i can convince mom to take me to A.C. moore so i can find a nice frame/matting combo for it, along with stuff to make a scrapbook of italy.
i took some pictures of both my foot/cast and my degree.. yes, i know i'm a total dork.. but hey, it gave me something to do!
i did it!!! (finally.. LOL)
********
close up...
good foot + bad foot
relaxing..
i've changed my mind. i do NOT want to lie around all day long.. it's so f-ing boring! oh sure, i find little projects to do each day.. the other day i did my nails, i've been reading books like crazy (i'm on my 4th book since this happened, if that tells you anything), having friends over, stuff like that. but i am still so very, very bored..
one day fades into the next, and the same old stuff.. wake up, drink coffee mom or dad makes for me. eat breakfast. go outside, come in and clean up. eat lunch. watch tv, read, and/or get online. eat dinner. watch more tv, maybe a movie, maybe have a visitor or two. chat on the phone. get online. go to sleep. wake up.. and do it all over again.
ugh.
but, on a lighter note.. my degree arrived in the mail! that makes me happy... and it's ironic that it would have come on june 6th, which is the same day i graduated from high school (although back in 2001.. LOL). maybe once i get the chair back i can convince mom to take me to A.C. moore so i can find a nice frame/matting combo for it, along with stuff to make a scrapbook of italy.
i took some pictures of both my foot/cast and my degree.. yes, i know i'm a total dork.. but hey, it gave me something to do!
i did it!!! (finally.. LOL)
********
close up...
good foot + bad foot
relaxing..
Friday, June 5, 2009
normal?
ok, so most of the throbbing in my ankle has gone away. that part is good, but...
now it feels like the incisions are.. well, burning. and it hurts like.. well, you know. is this normal? dad says it is, that it means the incisions are healing. but i dunno... really? i mean, it feels like my leg is dirty (can't wash under the cast, gross!) so i'm worried it might be an infection. but i'm not sure. maybe i'm just being a little hypochondriac .. but i just want to be sure! plus the cast seems to be bigger (probably because my ankle/leg isn't swollen anymore) .. so, yeah.
guess i'll be calling the doctor's office on monday! well, that is if our benefits are reinstated. which they should have been by 5 pm today, but weren't. grr.
have i mentioned lately how much i despise insurance companies?
now it feels like the incisions are.. well, burning. and it hurts like.. well, you know. is this normal? dad says it is, that it means the incisions are healing. but i dunno... really? i mean, it feels like my leg is dirty (can't wash under the cast, gross!) so i'm worried it might be an infection. but i'm not sure. maybe i'm just being a little hypochondriac .. but i just want to be sure! plus the cast seems to be bigger (probably because my ankle/leg isn't swollen anymore) .. so, yeah.
guess i'll be calling the doctor's office on monday! well, that is if our benefits are reinstated. which they should have been by 5 pm today, but weren't. grr.
have i mentioned lately how much i despise insurance companies?
no wheels..
ugh. you know that little thing i mentioned about mobility? well, i had slightly regained that with 'the chair' ... until it had to go back last tuesday. the insurance company is supposed to cover the cost of one, so dad didn't re-rent it for the next week, but here's my saga with them...
ok, so brian has the most retarded insurance in the world. they go by 4 three month periods throughout the year, and he has to work at least 300 hours in one period to be covered for the next. so, brian had to work 300+ hours in jan/feb/march to be covered in april/may/june. get it? ok. so brian was told he had ony worked 280 hours in the 1st period, which is why i had to overnight a check for $1100 to his union hall. well...
turns out the company he works for (i hate them) only turned in 1 week of hours for february. so... he had enough hours after all! and, after making me overnight them the check.. they have the nerve to tell us it can take up to 6 weeks for our refund.. what? and they still haven't reinstated our benefits! that is insane... it was not our mistake in the first place, yet we are suffering from it.. ugh! insurance companies make me sick.
no benefits = no card = no chair. ===== leigh being very, very pissed.
i don't want free healthcare, but i would like affordable healthcare! and i would love it if people could own up to their own mistakes.. and not only realize, but care about, the fact that it can negatively affect others (see equation above).
grr.
but, on the good side, i didn't have to take a percocet until 11 AM today.. that's a full 12 hours after i had taken my last one (before i went to sleep) and a good 3 hours after i had woken up. that's the best i've done so far! and, for now, the pain has been morphing from a deep and painful throbbing to a burning sensation in what i can only hope is where the orthopedic surgeon had to cut my leg and foot open. or i'm getting random, linear burning sensations on my skin. nice. and i really hope that, at my appointment a week from this monday, they wash my leg before putting on the hard cast.. ugh, it feels gross! i just want to unwrap the gauze, take off the cast (fiberglass? i have no idea what's on under the gauze..), peel off whatever's between the cast and my skin.. and wash my leg/foot, lol. but oh well.. i'm sure they cleaned it (and i know they put iodine all over it) before the surgery.
mom's picking up a few movies today for me at blockbuster.. 'marley & me' (yes, i know that it has a really sad ending, which i'm sure includes the dog dying, but don't tell me for sure!) and 'bride wars' (ok, and yes.. i know i'm a total cheeseball when it comes to stupid chick flicks .. shut up, tori! LOL)
hopefully the insurance nightmare will be over (and soon!). i'm already having to miss out on heidi's wedding (congrats! you know i wish i could be there!) and natalie/jonathan's engagement party tomorrow (lol.. wedding in the early afternoon, engagement party in the evening) because i don't have that mobility option. which sucks, because i was really looking forward to going to both of them.. *sighs.. =/
God, this sucks..
ok, so brian has the most retarded insurance in the world. they go by 4 three month periods throughout the year, and he has to work at least 300 hours in one period to be covered for the next. so, brian had to work 300+ hours in jan/feb/march to be covered in april/may/june. get it? ok. so brian was told he had ony worked 280 hours in the 1st period, which is why i had to overnight a check for $1100 to his union hall. well...
turns out the company he works for (i hate them) only turned in 1 week of hours for february. so... he had enough hours after all! and, after making me overnight them the check.. they have the nerve to tell us it can take up to 6 weeks for our refund.. what? and they still haven't reinstated our benefits! that is insane... it was not our mistake in the first place, yet we are suffering from it.. ugh! insurance companies make me sick.
no benefits = no card = no chair. ===== leigh being very, very pissed.
i don't want free healthcare, but i would like affordable healthcare! and i would love it if people could own up to their own mistakes.. and not only realize, but care about, the fact that it can negatively affect others (see equation above).
grr.
but, on the good side, i didn't have to take a percocet until 11 AM today.. that's a full 12 hours after i had taken my last one (before i went to sleep) and a good 3 hours after i had woken up. that's the best i've done so far! and, for now, the pain has been morphing from a deep and painful throbbing to a burning sensation in what i can only hope is where the orthopedic surgeon had to cut my leg and foot open. or i'm getting random, linear burning sensations on my skin. nice. and i really hope that, at my appointment a week from this monday, they wash my leg before putting on the hard cast.. ugh, it feels gross! i just want to unwrap the gauze, take off the cast (fiberglass? i have no idea what's on under the gauze..), peel off whatever's between the cast and my skin.. and wash my leg/foot, lol. but oh well.. i'm sure they cleaned it (and i know they put iodine all over it) before the surgery.
mom's picking up a few movies today for me at blockbuster.. 'marley & me' (yes, i know that it has a really sad ending, which i'm sure includes the dog dying, but don't tell me for sure!) and 'bride wars' (ok, and yes.. i know i'm a total cheeseball when it comes to stupid chick flicks .. shut up, tori! LOL)
hopefully the insurance nightmare will be over (and soon!). i'm already having to miss out on heidi's wedding (congrats! you know i wish i could be there!) and natalie/jonathan's engagement party tomorrow (lol.. wedding in the early afternoon, engagement party in the evening) because i don't have that mobility option. which sucks, because i was really looking forward to going to both of them.. *sighs.. =/
God, this sucks..
Thursday, June 4, 2009
wiggle, wiggle..
so.. i can now wiggle the toes on my left foot.. without any feelings of weirdness OR pain! although, for the pain, i did take a pain pill about 2 hours ago.. so that might have something to do with it. but oh well.. at least no weirdness!
jeana came to visit today, and we watched "he's just not that into you" - great movie, if you haven't seen it! i love to have visitors.. *hint hint*
i feel like this cast is too big on me.. and that my foot isn't in it correctly.. maybe i should call the doctor tomorrow and check. but oh guess what? my insurance ended on may 31st! even after sending them a check for $1100... WTF??? apparently i had to pay for APRIL to be covered for may, even though for those 2 months ($550/month..) i thought it would be for may and june, since that's when i need it for. but oh no. now i have to mail off another check.. for $550 to be covered this month!
insurance companies are a total ripoff!
ugh, anyways.. i should be asleep, but i took a nap earlier that is now keeping me awake :( oh well, at least i get to have fun online conversations! :)
jeana came to visit today, and we watched "he's just not that into you" - great movie, if you haven't seen it! i love to have visitors.. *hint hint*
i feel like this cast is too big on me.. and that my foot isn't in it correctly.. maybe i should call the doctor tomorrow and check. but oh guess what? my insurance ended on may 31st! even after sending them a check for $1100... WTF??? apparently i had to pay for APRIL to be covered for may, even though for those 2 months ($550/month..) i thought it would be for may and june, since that's when i need it for. but oh no. now i have to mail off another check.. for $550 to be covered this month!
insurance companies are a total ripoff!
ugh, anyways.. i should be asleep, but i took a nap earlier that is now keeping me awake :( oh well, at least i get to have fun online conversations! :)
Monday, June 1, 2009
one week
it's been one week since my little 'mishap' .. so i thought i'd post about what i've learned in the last 7 days:
1) NEVER take mobility for granted. even the smallest and most minuscule things (ex: going to the bathroom) have become a major pain in the ass. having to twist and turn in the bathroom to brush my teeth or wash my hands sitting down has been pretty damn unpleasant..
2) the next time i'm about to do something and think 'well, maybe i shouldn't.. but it will be ok' .. i'm NOT going to do it. period. geeze, i never imagined this happening!
3) follow the doctor's orders. i have to sit in this damn chair with my left leg elevated at all times. do i like it? hell no.. but do i want to have to go through surgery again to fix it? HELL no. so i have to miserably comply.. (*rolls eyes*)
4) don't take family and friends for granted either.. my parents have been absolutely wonderful in taking care of me.. doing all sorts of things they don't like or want to do! this is what family is about.. being there during both your triumphs and mistakes. i have the most awesome parents, and once i can finally get out of this mess (2 months!) i have no idea how i'm going to make it up to them.. but i've got time to think about it. also.. my friends! whether it's people coming to visit or talking online, thanks for being there for me! the visits and conversations keep me up in spirits and make me feel very loved :) i have a sad feeling, well.. premonition really, that there will be some of my 'friends' who will drop off the radar for the next couple of months. that will really show me who my true friends are.. and who the ones i need to get rid of are, lol.
5) modern medicine! i can't imagine having to go through this without today's technology (and pain pills).. without the plate and screws in my leg/ankle i might have not been able to walk normally again (eek!) and without the pain meds.. well, i would be in excruciating pain right now! i am happy to report that as the days go by (farther away from when i had my surgery) the pain has lessened.. i am down from taking 2 percocets every 6 hours (even in the middle of the night.. the pain in my ankle would wake me up) to taking 1 percocet every 7-8 hours. i'm being very careful with this medication, as percocet is oxycodene - the same drug that my brother-in-law died of an OD from. granted, shane's use was purely recreational.. but still. i'm watching it ;)
well, i think that 5 big life lessons is enough for one week.. i've also been able to get some things done that i've been meaning to do for a long time..
well, it's dinner time.. mmmmm mom's spaghetti sauce (i've been smelling it cook all day, and mom is lucky i can't get over to the crock pot.. otherwise there might not be any left... LOL) and then a night of family fun with some board games! (we're a VERY competitive bunch.. so it should be interesting)
i hope everybody has a great week.. and can at least learn a few things from my mistake!
1) NEVER take mobility for granted. even the smallest and most minuscule things (ex: going to the bathroom) have become a major pain in the ass. having to twist and turn in the bathroom to brush my teeth or wash my hands sitting down has been pretty damn unpleasant..
2) the next time i'm about to do something and think 'well, maybe i shouldn't.. but it will be ok' .. i'm NOT going to do it. period. geeze, i never imagined this happening!
3) follow the doctor's orders. i have to sit in this damn chair with my left leg elevated at all times. do i like it? hell no.. but do i want to have to go through surgery again to fix it? HELL no. so i have to miserably comply.. (*rolls eyes*)
4) don't take family and friends for granted either.. my parents have been absolutely wonderful in taking care of me.. doing all sorts of things they don't like or want to do! this is what family is about.. being there during both your triumphs and mistakes. i have the most awesome parents, and once i can finally get out of this mess (2 months!) i have no idea how i'm going to make it up to them.. but i've got time to think about it. also.. my friends! whether it's people coming to visit or talking online, thanks for being there for me! the visits and conversations keep me up in spirits and make me feel very loved :) i have a sad feeling, well.. premonition really, that there will be some of my 'friends' who will drop off the radar for the next couple of months. that will really show me who my true friends are.. and who the ones i need to get rid of are, lol.
5) modern medicine! i can't imagine having to go through this without today's technology (and pain pills).. without the plate and screws in my leg/ankle i might have not been able to walk normally again (eek!) and without the pain meds.. well, i would be in excruciating pain right now! i am happy to report that as the days go by (farther away from when i had my surgery) the pain has lessened.. i am down from taking 2 percocets every 6 hours (even in the middle of the night.. the pain in my ankle would wake me up) to taking 1 percocet every 7-8 hours. i'm being very careful with this medication, as percocet is oxycodene - the same drug that my brother-in-law died of an OD from. granted, shane's use was purely recreational.. but still. i'm watching it ;)
well, i think that 5 big life lessons is enough for one week.. i've also been able to get some things done that i've been meaning to do for a long time..
- everybody's contact info in my phone has been updated.. including email and mailing addresses
- i have transferred over the pics from my computer (of italy, etc.) to my phone that i wanted to use as wallpapers, etc.
- i went to barnes & noble and bought several books i had been wanting to read, but didn't have the time for
- i've updated online albums and added new pics to them
- i ordered dad's father's day present online - and i can't wait for him to get it! i am looking forward to seeing the look on his face when he opens it :)
- the insurance is finally all set up.. i'm just waiting on my card to arrive in the mail
- i've called to check up on my graduation pictures that were supposed to be here almost a week ago (last tuesday).. i'm actually doing this while writing this blog, and their hold times are ridiculous! oh well, i'm not going anywhere...
- i watched 'breakfast at tiffany's' (and loved it, audrey hepburn is awesome!)
well, it's dinner time.. mmmmm mom's spaghetti sauce (i've been smelling it cook all day, and mom is lucky i can't get over to the crock pot.. otherwise there might not be any left... LOL) and then a night of family fun with some board games! (we're a VERY competitive bunch.. so it should be interesting)
i hope everybody has a great week.. and can at least learn a few things from my mistake!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
