while i'm not going anywhere..

so i was looking at some grad schools today, and tomorrow i'll have my mother bring over my GRE prep books (yes, that's plural.. eek!)

i might as well do the reviews and take the practice tests while i have pretty much nothing else to do.. do something productive, right? i need to get at least 1000 on this test, but i would like to get above a 1200. so.. we shall see! according to the ETS website, coastal is the closest testing center (which i already knew) and they have a bunch of dates available over the summer (i didn't know you could PICK your date, i thought they had scheduled dates.. like the SAT's, but ok!).

so i'll shoot for taking this evil test (geometry? really?? WTF?) by the end of july.. before my cast comes off. so i have 2 lofty goals for 'the cast period' (as i'm calling it):

• quit smoking (quit date is july 4th and 1st month of chantix has already been filled)
• take (and do well on) the GRE

i figure that the sooner i take the test, the better.. since if i don't do as well that i'd like i have enough time to retake it.

one of the prep books i have is for vocab. you know what? the vocab part really pisses me off.. i've always thought that i have an extensive vocabulary, so i started flipping through the 'most commonly used terms' and came across the word "tortuous." well, i would think that would have something to do with torture, pain, etc... but nooooo.. it actually means 'winding' .. as in, 'it was a tortuous path' (brings to mind walking through the trees from the wizard of oz who throw apples, involving quicksand and poisonous snakes as well.. ). argh.

sometimes i look at all of this stuff and think that it's all over my head.. and there's no way i can do it. but then i remember that's what i once thought of finishing college, period, and not only did i do that - i did it well. graduated with a very decent GPA, and the last 3 semesters (the entire time i had come back - since jan 08) i have made the dean's list. not bad..

so i can do it, i know i can. i just have to stop my annoying habit of negative self talk, lol. and i have to relearn geometry, and add some new words into my vocab. why didn't i take latin??

i also looked up some grad programs (namely school psych) that i'm interested in. the schools 'down south' that i would be interested in going to:

• north carolina state (school psych)
  
• univ. of georgia (school psych OR developmental psych)

and, i've been thinking a lot about returning to the good ol' home state.. yes, that's right.. don't get your hopes up, because this depends on a LOT of things. like where brian and i are (status wise, and this might sound harsh but i'm thinking about all of this stuff as if he a) isn't around or b) is around, and completely supportive of my schooling just like i've been completely supportive of him working on the road all the damn time).. anyways, yeah. i'd like to come back home. go to school in maryland...

• univ. of maryland (school psych - FEAR THE TURTLE!)
• umbc (developmental psych)
• hood college (experimental psych - masters... that would REALLY be going home, right?

but like i said.. going back to maryland for school depends on a lot of crap. so i dunno, but it would be nice! also, all of the above programs are doctoral ones.. except for the one at hood, which is a masters.

so, i would become 'dr. gamble'.. eh? (or, if brian pisses me off enough.. dr. hileman? eh, but dr. gamble has an evil ring to it.. LOL)

i just have to keep thinking like the little engine who could.. 'i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...'

only, i know that i can do this.

:)